Rusape, Zimbabwe — In what villagers are calling the "wedding of the weird," a local man shocked the community after holding a traditional ceremony to marry... a goat.
🧔 Meet Mr. Tonde Mudzvova
Tonde Mudzvova, 38, a self-declared “professional romantic,” says he gave up on human relationships after being ghosted for the 17th time.
“At least this one doesn’t talk back or eat sadza and chicken every weekend,” he said proudly while petting his bride — a three-year-old female goat named Rebecca.
🎉 The Traditional Wedding
The ceremony, held in Temaruru village, included everything — from nzungu (peanut snacks) to a DJ spinning hits like “Chikuru Rudo.” The goat wore a white veil, while Tonde wore a suit borrowed from his cousin's Grade 7 graduation.
“This is real love,” Tonde declared. “She listens, she never argues, and she doesn’t ask for my EcoCash PIN.”
🐐 Village Reactions
Headman Maringe, visibly confused, gave the couple his blessings — but only after confirming there would be no lobola payment in livestock.
Some villagers took the event as a joke, others say it was just another Tuesday in Rusape.
“Last year he tried to marry his friend`s dog, so this is an improvement,” said neighbor Amai Rudo.
📜 Legal Drama?
Local authorities reportedly visited Tonde, but left laughing. One officer said, “As long as it’s not on the voters’ roll, we’re not involved.”
💞 Their Future?
When asked about honeymoon plans, Tonde said, “We’re going to Victoria Falls... as soon as she stops eating my bus ticket.”
DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fictional and intended for humor and entertainment. No goats were harmed or actually wed in Rusape.
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