Harare, Zimbabwe – Love makes people do crazy things… but for one Harare man, it almost made him drink Doom – all because of a single Instagram DM and a dream too big.
Tapiwa , 29, thought he had finally found the one when he stumbled upon Zimbabwean socialite and influencer Royal Mint on Instagram.
“I saw her looking like a whole UN conference in one pic. The caption was just ‘Soft life only 💅’, and I was like, ‘Yah, this is my future wife.’ I even had our wedding hashtags ready,” he said, eyes slightly moist.
Tapiwa boldly slid into her DMs with a message he says he "rehearsed for 30 minutes."
“I said, ‘Hie bby, I like yo vibe. Can I get to know you better?’ I even added 3 red hearts, just to show I was serious.”
The response? Silence. Then blocked.
“I refreshed the chat like 10 times thinking maybe network was slow,” Tapiwa said. “But no, bro… I was ghosted, then BOOM – ‘User Not Found.’ I knew then. I was gone.”
The Doom Moment
Heartbroken, Tapiwa says he went into a spiral. He stopped eating, deactivated his Twitter, and started playing Chill Master on repeat.
“At one point, I stood in front of the mirror holding a bottle of Doom, whispering, ‘Tell Royal Mint she broke a good one.’ But the Doom was expired so I just sat down and cried.”
Friends say he even created a TikTok account named @HeartbrokenByMint where he posted emotional videos like “Day 4 Without Her” and “If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
After a week of what he describes as “pure emotional bankruptcy,” Tapiwa had a moment of clarity:
“Why was I crying over someone who probably eats sushi with a fork? I realised – I was trying to live a Borrowdale lifestyle on a Mbare budget.”
Now Tapiwa says he’s working on himself, got a fresh haircut, and recently joined Vibely, a local platform where he says “people vibe for real, and no one blocks you for liking their photo.”
He even left some advice for others:
“Brothers, know your lane. If she posts ‘booked and busy’ every day, maybe it’s not a good idea to DM her while you’re still job hunting.”
Lesson of the Day:
Don't drink Doom. Drink water, upgrade your goals, and stay in your data bracket. 😂💔
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